By Kathryn Hamm
I recognize that my personal circles aren’t exactly a representative sample of all of lesbian-kind, but believe me when I say that I haven’t been to a single lesbian wedding in which the brides wore traditional gowns. Including my own (as pictured at left, courtesy of Carly Fuller Photography).
Memorial Day weekend heralds the advent of summer and, with it, a slew of oh-so-superbly gay weddings. Inspiration for those planning an outdoor ceremony can be found in the example of Shavon Gaddy-Dalrymple, 30, who wed Jory Dalrymple, 34, last Memorial Day weekend at Incarnation Camp in Deep River, CT.
1. Discover designer or vintage gown at a great price.
2. Secure an iconic spot for the wedding (regularly featured in film and TV including multiple episodes of Sex and City.)
3. Direct as much of your hard-earned cash for said items to charity as possible.
On that Big Day, dapperQ will bet dollars to donuts you are going to march down the aisle, sign your soul away, dance your feet off, and cry tears that heal wounds you never knew you had.
Jennifer and Jessica Moon covered all those bases when they wed this past August in Concord, Massachusetts. But, overachievers that they are, the Moons added canoeing, glass breaking, and a sprint. So what did they wear, for goodness sake, and what can you learn to suit up for your own wedding?
A Question from Angela of Brooklyn, NY for DapperQ: Our wedding is coming up this April and I can't determine what I want to wear. I wear men's clothes but I am open to a woman's suit if that will look best. I am a little stumped as to where to even begin. I wear a size 38 in men's pants (not sure what that translates to in women's sizes) and I am a total pear shape. What do you recommend?
Magnetic attraction is a powerful ally for those looking to love our mates for the long haul. But equally important, methinks, is consistent appreciation for the alchemy of small synergies that can make union with another so profound.
Aaron, 25, and Shelly, 30, bring to their newlywed life a thrilling combination of each. These adorably queer theologians were wed on September 25, 2010 at St. Mary’s Episcopal Church in Manhattanville, NY where Shelly first served as deacon. Their ceremony was followed up later that week with a backyard reception in Shelly’s hometown of Zillah, Washington.
Your old pal dapperQ is not going to perpetrate like she knows much about wedding gowns. Over the past year, my focus has been on creating community for genderbenders who want to stylishly incorporate men’s fashion elements into their wardrobe. For dapperQ’s, the challenge is how we fit our hips and boobs into clothing for which such niceties weren’t intended. To do it well, we’ve gotta face facts about how our bodies are shaped, selecting pieces to accentuate our best features.
Rumor has it that, among heterosexuals, it’s common for a bride to pull together all the details of “her” day, enabling the groom to just (hopefully) show up. Sure there are exceptions. But you won’t find too many straight men browsing bridal magazines. Those so inclined must be prepared to endure razzing from their buddies.
For those who are terribly lucky, love begins with a sense of awe and wonder. We might long for it, but never know for sure that it will arrive. When it does, words often fail to fully convey the magic of falling.
For queers, marriage equality is kind of like that. We never knew it could happen. Frankly, we never know if it will be taken away. But in these early days, we are taking nothing for granted. Like Adrienne Rich wrote in “Twenty-One Love Poems,”
... whatever we do together is pure invention / the roadmaps they gave us were out of date
/ by years . . .
I rarely can bring myself to read about the plethora of court cases and voter referendums that move U.S. marriage equality one day two steps forward and the next day one step back. While I am wildly grateful to leaders, movement “soldiers” and allies fighting the good fight, this gig for gayweddings.com offers me behind the scenes access to stories unfolding in what I call PRIDE: ACT II.