Five Things to Keep in Mind When Writing Your Wedding Vows

GenavieveBy Genavieve Shingle

You’re getting married! Everything is beyond exciting but let’s be real – it’s also somewhat stressful.  Who knew there was so much to do?  And on top of it all, you have to write your wedding vows.  What do you say to the person you love more than anything in the world?  How do you articulate these intense, passionate emotions?  The answer is actually quite simple.  When it comes to writing your vows, everything you need to know is already within you.  It’s how you get it out of you – and that is where this advice comes in handy.

Start early.  Don’t wait until the night before The Big Day to write one of the most important things you will ever write in your life.  Personally, I have always believed that marriage is not defined by the piece of paper you pick up from the government declaring that you are legally married.  It is not defined by the ring that is worn, nor is it the actual ceremony itself.  What defines a marriage is the promise that you are making to your partner. The commitment you are making in front of him or her, your family and friends, and ultimately, the world.  This pledge of eternal love, of fidelity, of being by the other’s side “for better, for worse, for richer, for poorer…” And yet, so many of us wait until the very last minute to determine what we are going to say. 

When it comes to writing your vows, everything you need to know is already within you.

This Is Only About You and Your Love Remember – these vows are for your partner and no one else in the room.  No one else’s opinion matters when it comes to what you write and say.  No matter what you say or how you say it, it will be openly accepted and received with love and without judgment, so speak your truth.  Speak it without fear.  Speak with an open mind and an open heart and soul.  Remember, it is only the two of you up there.  Your feelings, your love; it already lies within you. 

Keep It Simple Pick a theme.  This will keep you focused.  A few examples: gratitude, what you have taught me, romance, or humor. Now close your eyes and think of the things that you love and adore about the person you are going to marry.  Recall the first kiss.  The first time you said I love you.  The proposal.  Start writing; write the moments, write the feelings associated with those moments.  Certain instances and feelings will stand out to you.  Focus in on them.  Visualize and relive that experience.  Remember, when we boil down the vows to their very essence, they are about love, gratitude, and promises you are making to your partner.

Practice.  Practice in front of a mirror.  You really learn a lot about how you speak and what you look like when you talk.  Maybe you are someone who speaks with your hands, or constantly plays with your hair.  Practicing in front of a mirror allows you to see yourself as others will see you when you speak.  Next, practice in front of your best friend or a loved one.  Ask for feedback.  At this juncture, you have already read your speech out loud a few times.  The more you read it aloud, the more natural it will sound.  And remember, though others will be in the room, you are only talking to your beloved.  No one else.

Give them to your MOH or Best Man.   As the bride or groom, you have so many things to do before the actual ceremony on The Big Day.  Surrender the stress of carrying your vows and hand them to your Best Man/Woman, or Officiant.  For the boys – your hands are already going to be sweaty and placed in your pockets.  You don’t want to be fiddling with the piece of paper.  Type or hand-write your vows in a large, legible font.  This way you won’t be staring down at the paper and can look into your beloved’s eyes.

It really is simple.  The answers already lie within you. 

Happy writing and happy wedding!


Guest author Genavieve Shingle is the founder of My Little Vow