Proposals With An LGBT Twist
It is obvious that, as the GLBT community expands its Marriage Equality laws, we will be faced with more and more issues we have not yet had to tackle, like the issue of who among two people of the same sex does the “proposing.”
As a jeweler I am faced everyday with couples looking to get engagement rings or wedding bands, but if you break down the actual act of “proposing,” “getting engaged” and even “getting married,” you realize there are rules of conduct that have never been dealt with before. So it is no surprise that I get lots of questions such as: “Who proposes to whom?” or “Do we get engaged?” or “Do I surprise him (or her),” and so on.
I have to admit that, as I deal with more couples and their sentimental ring purchases, I am also privy to a wealth of decisions couples make regarding their journey.
Here are a few of my favorites:
Recently a young man walked into my store and asked to see diamond men’s rings because he wanted to surprise his boyfriend and propose. It was very important to him that he surprise his boyfriend, because he felt the surprise and the sentiment would be romantic. They have been together for 6 years and he was eager to start the rest of their lives together as soon as possible.
The sentiment in “popping the question” for a same sex couple is definitely romantic. The guy knew what his partner would like and focused on him. All that mattered was how much he loves his boyfriend and, as such, he wanted to surprise him with a token of that love.
My niece and her girlfriend of 3 years approached me a few years back and told me they were planning to get married. The wedding was planned for 2 years down the road, but the couple decided that they most certainly wanted to be engaged leading up to their wedding. Together, the women came to see me to discuss engagement rings. Together, they sat and discussed what each of them would like. And, together, they agreed that each would wear an engagement ring of their liking and flank them at the wedding with matching wedding rings.
Two classic examples happened here: a) the girls talked about every decision openly, and b) it was perfectly fine for them not to have matching rings. I constantly tell couples that, just because they are a “same sex” couple, they do not need to get identical rings. Keeping a sense of individuality can be as important as communication.
Two very nice guys came to see me a while back talking engagement rings and wedding bands. Each wanted very different looking rings, which was great! Once they selected and knew what they liked and wanted, I dealt with each one individually on getting his partner’s rings made. When the time came and the first ring was finished and picked up, the guy thought he would wait for a special occasion, and pop the question. That plan lasted exactly three hours. That night over dinner and a walk along the beach, he got down on one knee and proposed.
This is a great example of communication with a romantic ending. The guys discussed their engagement, shopped together for their rings and still had a traditional proposal. By the way, after the first proposal, the second ring was finished a week later and the second partner got a chance to ask his now “fiancé” if he would honor him by being his husband. The wedding plans are now underway.
There are many ways to propose and plan an engagement and wedding, but one thing is for sure, the rings are a symbol of the love and the strength of a couple’s bond.
So I say: Get Engaged, Get Married… and Live Happily Ever After.
In his 25 years experience in designing and creating engagement rings and wedding bands, Rony has dedicated more than a decade of service toward helping same-sex couples translate their sentiments of commitment into meaninful custom rings, symbolizing their unique love.