Real Wedding Bridal Update: Kathy & Brit

Kathy & BritThe Go-Go’s

It’s been awhile since we caught up with Kathy and Brit, so I decided to check in.

As expected, Kathy’s on top of everything: Save the Date cards have been mailed, and the invitations have been finalized and will be printed closer to the date. (Since their wedding is in July, it’s not necessary to mail out invitations until sometime around April.) And, the couple had stamps made for their return address.

In yet another example of knowing wedding etiquette, Kathy and Brit will be handwriting the addresses on the envelopes. In today’s computerized world, it’s easy to forget that some formalities (like wedding invitations and thank-you notes) should always be sent with a personal touch.

Kathy wanted custom-made table runners for the ceremony, and she went with a company called Darlingdamask.com. Every wedding is different, as is every reception, and if you’re reading this and realize you haven’t given a thought about table runners, don’t panic: For starters, not everyone uses them, as they are geared for formal affairs, and many sites provide them. Table runners can be found at places like Crate & Barrel and Pier 1 Imports, but you can also go the more personal route, as Kathy and Brit decided upon.

(Editor’s Note: This site, GayWeddings.com, also offers an LGBT-friendly personalized table runner.)

The bridesmaids’ dresses have arrived, and the women are in the midst of planning a shower for the couple, as well as a cocktail brunch. They’re also talking bachelorette party. Kathy found her shoes (she’s going with Badgley Mischka open-toe heels), and Brit found her ring. She was walking down the street and spotted the diamond baguette in a window. They got a great price, as the store was going out of business. Recession sucks, but at least you can find discounts.

Kathy and Brit have their food tasting on January 27, and will spend this weekend with the venue manager to go over all table arrangements. Their next meeting with the florist is in February. This reporter tried to finagle his way into the food sampling (for journalistic reasons, of course), but no such luck. I should have worked in PR!

Sten in the Clowns

“Sten” parties, which is a combination of a “hen” party and a “stag” party, are increasingly popular for both gay and straight weddings. One maid of honor wrote to GayWeddings.com asking how to prepare for such an event. In her case, the couple is male, so it’s new party territory.

A sten party has many advantages to your typical bachelor and bachelorette parties. In general, it means one less event to worry about and pay for, and fewer invitations and scheduling conflicts. For couples who are uninterested in having a stripper or getting bombed at Hooters, it makes a lot of sense. A sten party for a gay affair makes even more sense, regardless of whether two women are getting married or two men. Most likely, there will be a mixture of gay and straight people invited, and bringing everyone together rids you of any awkward straight and gay situations.

Your best bet is to rent out a private room at a restaurant or bar, or to throw it at someone’s house. Depending on how much money you want to spend, a sten party can be a wine-tasting tour or spa day. Basically, it’s your party so do whatever you like. Make sure everyone knows the details (so no one buys teddies), and make sure that everyone who’s invited to the sten party is also invited to the wedding.


David Toussaint is the author of the Gay Couple's Guide to Wedding Planning, Gay and Lesbian Weddings: Planning the Perfect Same-Sex Ceremony, and TOUSSAINT!.