Real Wedding

Real Lesbian Wedding: Kathryn & Amy

Kathryn & Amy

DC Superior Court Wedding

November 2, 2013

 Even though it was my own wedding back in 1999 that inspired the very existence of this website, it never really occurred to me that I might qualify again as a candidate to be one of a pair of brides featured in its pages.

Amy and Kathryn in 1999 Kathryn and Amy in 2013

Left: Kathryn & Amy in 1999. Right: Kathryn & Amy in 2013

My partner, Amy, and I felt that we had tied the knot exceptionally well the first time and, because we live in the Commonwealth of Virginia, which bans same-sex marriage, we didn’t really believe that marriage equality would be coming our way in any time in the foreseeable future.

Until this past summer.

Suddenly, because DOMA was overturned (prompting the recent US Treasury ruling recognizing that even same-sex couples who do not live in marriage equality states may apply for its programs), we have found ourselves once again to be — to use the phrase my mom loved to use back in ‘99 when she founded the business — her “poster brides.”

In what can only be described as an act of practical romance (or is it romantically practical?) and the kind of an “engagement” known well in the LGBTQ community, we called our lawyer asking for a green light. Then, we called our CPA asking for a green light. And they said Yes! Nevermind the chapel. We were going to the courthouse and we were going to get married.

And marry legally, we did.

Coming from the courthouse

 In the company of 160 friends and family members (including a few dozen children), we reflected upon what marriage means and what our first wedding meant; we honored in a sand ceremony our family unit (me, Amy and our young son) as a forever family; we enjoyed a community poem on love inspired by the words of our youngest guests; and we re-exchanged our wedding bands while revisiting the promises we made to one another over fourteen years ago.

sand ceremony listening in

reflections on love

exchanging vows

 In ‘99, our guests had cheered as our officiant (a dear family friend) declared, “You may now kiss the bride!” But, this time, our community cheered as the judge declared, “I now pronounce you (finally!) legally married!” We kissed. And, they stood. And then they cheered some more.

cheers 1


jay and riley

Not long after walking out of the courthouse to greet our guests, we were ushered by friends into a “pedi-cab” where we were assigned feather boas and glasses of champagne and sent off leading a boisterous parade from the DC Superior Court to Hill Country, where we enjoyed delicious barbeque, toasts, conversation and a beautiful re-enactment of Chicago’s Colour My World, which my dad and best friend had performed at the first wedding.


 In all, since this was a repeat ceremony of sorts, I didn’t think we’d experience the same outpouring of love and celebration; but sure enough, the same love and support radiated from our guests.

Blessed is the only word that comes to mind.


Photographer: Carly Fuller Photography :: Officiant: Honorable Marisa Demeo :: Ceremony Location: DC Superior Court (Washington, DC) :: Reception Location: Hill Country Barbeque :: Transportation: Uber & Wheel The People Pedicab :: Planning support: Invited Special Events

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