Running of the (Lesbian) Brides

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Let's face it: sometimes I get a little mischievous when I think about what might happen if "the gays" took over some classic straight wedding events.

Take, for example: Filene's Basement – Running of the Brides

You know where I'm going with this, don't you? How could I not?

For the uninformed, Filene's Running of the Brides is an annual event where "brides-to-be…find their dream dress at a bargain price." The early hours promise a frenzy of women racing to the racks and trying on as many dresses as they can to find the perfect dress at a great price (advertised between $299-$649).

Clearly the event has become an established one, as the main site encourages women not to wear makeup ("white shows everything!"), to organize in teams, to show team spirit with matching t-shirts or headbands, to plan strategy, and to wear a jog bra and running shoes.

Let's be honest: the competitor and athlete in me could almost mistake the above description for just another average day in my lesbian life (except that part about the matching headbands).

But I know about the fierce competitive spirit of a straight woman — particularly one with a bargain price in her sights…

Get the hell out of the way because she's coming through!

Would a lesbian bride stand a better chance racing for the dress racks? Or, what about last year's winner of the traditional male-only High Heel Race in Washington, D.C? Would he be frustrated by the dress sizes available, but be first to the best gowns on the floor? You know he would!

Maybe GayWeddings.com needs to sponsor a new event: The Running of the Gays.

When the doors open on the Capitol Building, lesbians and gays — organized in teams to benefit worthy non-profits and advocacy groups and appointed in f-a-b-u-l-o-u-s outfits — race into the Rotunda, in hopes of finding legal recognition (in just the right size), with the Grand Prize being nothing less than a federally recognized same sex marriage certificate signed by the President himself.

While we wait for The Running of the Gays, consider testing my theory about how the lesbian brides stack up against the straight brides at an upcoming official Running of the Brides event. You're sure to have stories to tell (and we hope you'll share them with us!) and you will probably even find a great deal on the two wedding dresses of your dreams!

Filene's Running of the Brides Dates

Friday, July 30 / Washington DC / Mazza Gallery

Friday, August 20 / Boston, MA / Hynes Convention Ctr

Friday, August 27 / Cleveland, OH / Warrensville Heights


PHOTO CREDIT: Wedding Wire

Wedding innovator Kathryn Hamm (@madebykathryn) is co-author of The New Art of Capturing Love: The Essential Guide to Lesbian & Gay Wedding Photography (Amphoto Books, 2014), an Education Expert for WeddingWire and Publisher of GayWeddings.com