Two Brides Improvise And Defy Expert Predictions

britt and kathyWhen we last checked in on Brit and Kathy, they were in the midst of wedding planning, and eager

to get my help and advice. Well, I hate to say it, but I’m no match for these women; they know what they are doing, and they’ve done their research. Kathy could write a book on the subject (uh-oh, better squash that idea out of her head).

Here’s what the women have been up to in the past two weeks.

That Takes The Cake

planning timeA dessert station was tops on their list (they are opting out on a dessert course, but are having a cake-cutting). Their budget of $350 for 130 guests is small, and a few companies I checked with flat-out said that would be impossible. I did talk to one-man operations as well, who said the location wouldn’t work, since they rely on their own kitchens to bake. In the meantime, Brit and Kathy managed to find a way of getting the desserts they want in their price range, and have narrowed it down to two companies. Since they still have some time, they’re going to mull it over.

Save the Dates

Save the Date Cards were tricky, as the couple couldn’t decide on which photo to use. They considered a picture in which the couple are kissing, but were worried it might upset some of their guests, especially the ones over 70. I suggested they go with something else, not because it’s a gay wedding and people might be offended (if anyone’s bothered by your wedding, they shouldn’t be invited), but rather because I feel a kissing photo is a bit much for any wedding card. They decided to go with their original choice, a black-and-white photo to complement their black-and-white color scheme.

(Incidentally, Save the Date cards are not a necessity, unless you’re having a long-distance wedding or are planning your ceremony over a holiday weekend. Brit and Kathy know that, but they got a great deal on card services, and thought a Save the Date card would be a sweet touch.)

Seasonal Attire

Then there’s the suit that Brit is determined to get just right. She’s set on white, and since we’re in the non-white season, they realized that the perfect suit will be next to impossible to purchase in October unless they have it custom-made. That will put them over their $600 suit budget, so they are holding off, and might wait until winter, when spring fashions are back in. As Kathy said, “It’s much easier to get a suit than a dress.” They are, however, still shopping.

Flower Power

They’ve also been florist-shopping and have decided (but not yet signed) on a florist from New Jersey—once again, smart move, as the prices out there are cheaper than in Manhattan. Their budget is $1,500, and Kathy’s maid of honor gave the couple $500 for flowers—her smart and practical wedding present. They’ve been quoted a price of $1,300, and they’ve saved more money by having Brit’s brother pick up the flowers and drop them off at the site; he’s got the motivation and an SUV.

On the day of, an event-planner friend is going to help set up the room as her present to the bride and bride. It’s truly wonderful when friends and family pitch in for your wedding, and if you are on a budget, it’s great to hint that, in lieu of a new toaster, money toward a vendor is an extremely valuable present.

They’re planning to book the florist this week.

The Attendants

Brit and Kathy are each having a maid of honor, a best man (this is so cool), two bridesmaids, and two groomsmen. They’ve picked out the Watters and Watters dresses for the women, and have invited me to the fitting. The maids of honor are wearing floor-length dresses, the bridesmaids, shorter versions.

Now this should be fun. I just wish I knew which outfit I’d be modeling.

A Special Dessert Tip for Vegans

Vegans eat desserts too, and if anyone in your wedding party is a vegan, make sure you offer

up something scrumptious for their palate. Camillo Sabella, of Vegan Divas in New York City, specializes in creating desserts for the non-animal-eating crowd. “If one of the married couples is vegan, or a member of the wedding party is, you can make one tier of your cake vegan, in the same style as the rest of the cake. You can also do it with vegan cupcakes.”

If you have lots of vegans in your wedding party, Sabella suggests creating a vegan dessert station, with chocolate mousse or fruit tarts. Vegan bakers don’t even use honey (those bees are animals too!), so expect lots of tofu and maple syrup and brown sugar. Not all catering companies offer vegan dishes, so make sure you talk to the vendors and, if necessary, view the premises. “True vegans won’t eat dishes that have been made in the same pot that, say, a beef stew has been cooked in, so make sure you’ve checked out everything, including the utensils.” Talk to your caterer or cake maker, so everything will be to your tastes.

David Toussaint is the author of the Gay Couple's Guide to Wedding Planning, Gay and Lesbian Weddings: Planning the Perfect Same-Sex Ceremony, and TOUSSAINT!.