Wed page

Isaac & Elliot

We’re both female-to-male transsexuals who identify as Two-Spirits.

We are both Jewish converts intent on creating a Jewish home and family to raise children in.

Our Native American spirituality and practices neatly complement our Jewish practices and beliefs.

We both want to work with young children. Isaac hopes to teach Special Education at an Elementary level. Elliot hopes to eventually open a shelter for GLBT youth, especially trans* youth.

The arts are very important to us. We both write poetry and prose. Isaac does drawing and painting, as well as dabbling in printmaking. Elliot sings, while Isaac is working on getting his singing voice back from the quirks of second-puberty. Isaac plays a number of instruments, but primarily practices trumpet and piano. We both love to support local (and not-so-local) small musicians and groups, as well as theater and film. Elliot is an intern for Trans-Genre, which is a collective of trans* artists, performers, and musicians. They have put out two compilation CDs of trans* musicians (with art from trans*folk as well) and the latest album is available for purchase from their website.


Our chuppah will be (sewing it this summer) bordered by 4 tartan scarves: Jewish tartan (yes, there really is an official one now); Smith tartan; Ireland’s National tartan; and Leslie Old Colours tartan. In the center surrounded by light blue or offwhite silk, will be a (black on blue) Celtic flower design which has a Star of David in the center. And this will be bordered on the outside by red, yellow, black, and white thick ribbon which will be sewn in banners around it to represent the Medicine Wheel. Isaac might add more (painted Eagle feathers?) to it, but that is the basic design. The chuppah will be tied to 4 willow tree branches for the ceremony, which will either be held by people close to us or put in stands during the ceremony.

We plan on using a wedding vase with a medicine bag attached for the kiddush. No alcohol will be at the ceremony or reception, per Native tradition. Kedem’s Light grape juice with a little corn meal in the wedding vase for the kiddush.

The Friday before the ceremony in 2012, we plan on having a Native meal with corn soup, fry bread, and Indian tacos for shabbat dinner. Again, grape juice at the dinner. No wine. Then, we’ll go to services.

Saturday, family and friends can go to the Art museum, or local coffee shops, or to local parks to hang out. Saturday night will be the only opportunity for alcohol during our festivities. We will eat/drink at The Anchor down on Douglas.

Sunday afternoon is the service outside (our furry son, Rufus, will be present in a tux possibly with a tartan bowtie) followed by a reception (at the synagogue) with dairy food and possibly fish. A friend is making us our wedding cake. Our caketopper will have Edward Cullen (who Elliot actually is, in case you were unaware) and Spider-Man (whose mild-mannered alterego is actually Isaac, and not Peter Parker).

We do not know if we will dance much. We’re both kind of uncoordinated and big nerds. 😛 We’ll probably just have speakers and an iPod or something along those lines for music. If we are lucky, some of our musician friends (Raging Sea, the Shondes, MDP) may make the dancing more lively. It would be Elliot’s dream to have Girlyman play our wedding.

We have too many close friends to pick and choose a wedding party, outside of our nephew Jonas and our dog Rufus- who will bring the wedding rings up for us. Dress will be dressy casual and traditional, with the grooms in ribbon shirts, kippot, beaded moccasins, and either buckskin pants or nice dressy jeans. Isaac plans on having an antler sgian dubh (with celtic knot) as part of his wedding regalia. Elliot has not started planning accessories yet, but Isaac is working on a walking stick for him to use in the ceremony.

Favors for the wedding have been planned tentatively. We’re hoping to have Mayan fair trade kippot, sage, and maybe honey or olive oil for the giveaways/favors.

In lieu of expensive flowers to decorate the tables at the reception, we will be donating money to ALEH, the White Buffalo Calf Woman Society, Inc., Heartspring, SAGE, BreakThrough Club, and the Kansas Humane Society.

For the honeymoon, Isaac is working on budgeting a surprise for Elliot- so, you’ll just have to wait and see.

Love Inspiration

Twilight, as corny as that sounds. Isaac is Jacob. Elliot is Edward. Sorry, Bella!

Fast Facts

First met: August 2008 on Facebook.
First date: September 2008 in Syracuse, NY, then October 2008 in Wichita
Got engaged: April 16th, 2010 (19 month anniversary) in Osage Hills Park
Ceremony location: Tulsa- Osage Hills Park, Iowa- City Hall, Wichita- outside
Favorite planning resource: Amazon.com
Honeymoon destination: It is a secret for now.

In Case You Were Wondering

We're calling our celebration: Our marriage/wedding.
Our wedding colors: Smith, EireNat'l, Jewish & Leslie, buckskin, blue & green
We will be wearing: IrishTux shirts under ribbon shirts matching our kippot.
Who proposed to who: Isaac proposed to Elliot, Elliot then proposed to Isaac.
Our last name will be: We're both keeping our last names. Kids'll be Holloway-Dowd.
We are registered at: Charity Registry ThinkGeek Amazon

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